January 2012
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I thought I found the girl of my dreams at a comedy club (ha ha).
Fuck it, I was wrong, though.
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Standup Comity →
There is that famous metaphor, E.B. White’s: “Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.” The profession of standup, the idea of “the comic” in the minds of the average person, exists in a similar state of delicate homeostasis. To be a comic at a party, at a bar on a night you aren’t working, is to make small talk under a giant hovering footnote,...
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December 2011
4 posts
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And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in...
– Abraham Lincoln
Not a bad quote from Honest Abe, but I wonder if he said this before or after he got shot?
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Jonathan Haidt on the moral roots of liberals and conservatives
November 2011
7 posts
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As a former Texan, this could not be more hilarious.
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October 2011
9 posts
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I know she was joking, but I’m 100% serious: if I ever see Amy Schumer in a bar and it’s last call, I’m getting blackout drunk.
(via Amy Schumer on Her High School Crush and Teen Moms | Splitsider)
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When Cookie Monster Speaks, Internet Listens
Yes, there always going to be rich and poor. But we used to live in country where rich owned factory and make 30 times what factory worked make. Now we live in country where rich make money by lying about value of derivative bonds and make 3000 times what factory worker would make if factories hadn’t all moved to China. Capitalism great system. We won Cold War because people behind Iron...
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Drew Magary on Werewolves and Police Brutality
I am a police officer who works midnights and the other night I was thinking about what might happen if I ever encountered a werewolf while on patrol. Let’s just say for the sake of this scenario that when I run into the werewolf, I’m alone in an isolated area. No witnesses and no camera in the cruiser recording the events. Let us also assume that standard bullets would be effective...
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Don’t hug men while shaking their hand. Enough already with that. The...
– Chuck Lorre
You know, I think I may have figured out why I never really liked any of his shows. I mean, in addition to never finding them funny, of course.
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September 2011
4 posts
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Inside Every Cynical Person, There is a Disappointed Idealist.
– George Carlin
(via x0stuff)
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August 2011
6 posts
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July 2011
12 posts
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When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
– Hunter S. Thompson
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It’s a hot load of bullshit that he didn’t get a nomination, and you...
– Amy Poehler on Nick Offerman’s Emmy Snub
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Jon Benjamin Does NOT Work at Staples from Jon Benjamin
Don’t know who Jon Benjamin is, or what his show is about, but this made me lol.
EDIT: OH SHIT, HE’S THE VOICE OF ARCHER. THANKS, WIKIPEDIA!!